Friday, December 28, 2018


Divide and rule, the politician cries; unite and lead, is watchword of the wise. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates
Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself. - Kierkegaard
Poets utter great and wise things which they do not themselves understand. - Plato

Wednesday, December 26, 2018


The inner poet yearns. These poignant moments, as I say gute nacht to presently important realizations: the last vestige of a relationship, a cherished grandmother, a youthful zest-iture for mortality and responsibility - with still the vigor of an early morning basketball game, and eager world travel in the spring. I heed this spectrum of life events, hopefully with more sleep, its new horizons, the worthiness for a responsible legacy I carry to my death, a shaking intensity in the present, and unforeseen future events. So vibrant does this moment feel, as moon fall precedes a sunrise, I am grateful for the gravity of it. The child clings, youth grasps, wisdom of acceptance breaks forward into adulthood and understanding. The facts remain not to spiritualize but recognize, portraying a universal truth, no different, perhaps in expression - like making use only the beginnings of electricity as it is functionally understood, for responsible and more weighted curiosities, and potentially greater consequences - a feeling; an inner expression.

Thursday, December 20, 2018


The very thought of you makes my heart sing
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring
And you appear in all your splendor
My one and only love

The shadows fall and spread their mystic charms
In the hush of night while you're in my arms
I feel your lips, so warm and tender
My one and only love

The touch of your hand is like heaven
A heaven that I've never known
The blush on your cheek whenever I speak
Tells me that you are my own

You fill my eager heart with such desire
Every kiss you give sets my soul on fire
I give myself in sweet surrender
My one and only love
My one and only love

Songwriters: Guy B. Wood / Robert Mellin

My One and Only Love lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

Sometimes thoughts 37

Monday, December 17, 2018


Definitions - jargon

Conflationists, confabulators, enablers, manipulators, obfuscators; some of these terms are thrown around typically; these are avoidant people, reflecting self assertive predilections upon consequentially reactively avoidant people. Disengage with this behavior, and while patiently assessing their motives, as evidenced through self reflection, with all inherent self bias, reasonably execute collective positivism from statistical data of inter-related behavioral analysis. Sets, subsets and minutae of interacting parts-human, must benefit all parts from within; we are only our greatest strength, exceeding devoidant or negatively influenced human behavior.

As China's social scale slowly awakens a sleeping giant that will shake the world, these definitions and very real world consequences often carry negative psychology. Inflicting no travel bans upon the people. Our attentiveness is referenced by data toward a positive psychology, collective knowing is enlightenment toward proactivity for the species.

Skeptically intuiting motives for good/wanting-to-watch-the-world-burn people risk the consequences of marginalized behavioral patterns that do exist. However, my argument is for positive human related behavioral understandings learned through scientific analysis. For now, how else could we learn about people as being people? Our innermost selves. Reflected back. To ourselves. I'm unconvinced reading the dictionary is unresourceful. I was struck with laughter by the word bilious.

As mankind epochs, thoughtfully including the agriculture, bronze, religion, science, or information age - so through this idea of definitions will humanity flourish toward the next discovery beyond enlightenment, reason, science, optimization, tertiary cognizance, or whatever else may fascinate the imagination of the future to what may come about from our innate-ness.

Sometimes rambling thoughts 36

Friday, December 14, 2018


Leave someone with the last thing you may say to them. May your last thoughts be good before your lips turn cold.


Sometimes thoughts 35

Monday, November 12, 2018

The Road

I'm performing NYC today. I'm seeing things. The world. Living. Amazing what you chose to talk about. For hours. Years even. I ain't about to let these things pass me by by being on the phone in this present time. West Virginia is much more beautiful to see looking out the window. No fucking way. Not another minute.

We tried. We really did. We're gray. The beginning: You said you were shy. I didn't know. I loved your confidant walk. We didn't talk for a year. Started a relationship. I didn't trust myself with loving you. Something was off. It was me, but it was also you! Felt left trying to convince myself. Tortured myself, what was I thinking? It was also your ways of things. Told others, recorded your outbursts. You told others, did things. You did. I apologized. We broke at the peak of my alcoholism in dramatic fashion. That's the only time you talked to my brother or my friends. Sponsor. In crises; a pattern that would repeat. A month or 2 went by. Didn't talk. We finished work. We slept together again, lingering feelings left to try again. Called it a tryst that built towards another relationship. Who's dishonest here? I should have known better. Stupidly got involved with someone else, tried to hide it. Discouraged you both from meeting. Slept with a friend once before her. We (you and I) weren't together then, began acting like a couple again. Broke the secret. Told the truth. Your heart. My heart. Guilt and shame onslaught. Relief. Conscience. No more fucking around. Don't put your heart where your dick is. God how guilty you made me feel for it. You can only stand trial once. A trust doomed to succeed, certain to fail, never to regain.

You befriended her, the secret friend. You knew her before, but that was the first time you made friends. My tire was slashed. You brought up seeing me and the 2nd friend at the very end! Posted pics with her (3rd girl), felt the need to take care of her. Al anon. Asked me to lie about our secret conversation. Regretted it, said you'd admit it to her. Al anon. Coda. Distraction and diversion. When I was deceitful and checked your phone, you start every potential relationship with stress, even in text, and even if you're not very interested. I'm so overwhelmed with life, etc. I'm stressed because I like you so much! I see patterns and it's a front. What world are you living in? Or maybe you just are stressed naturally I guess. It hinders any excitement. You are an expert at bringing the focus off yourself and back to the next guy. You don't even realize it. You're a reality TV star. And your motives were realized in the group chat I started with you and the 3rd. You have another face that perhaps you aren't willing to face for yourself. But you'll always claim you are so sure of yourself. Follow it up with victimization.

You never explicitly apologized for your own shit. Actually state all of the shit you say. Has no one told you this before? Really tell you. Why do you think I recorded you? You're a trust fund kid with enabling parents. Why must you escape on parent sponsored (and for your friends too!) timeshare vacations after crises. Easy to fall into security blanket patterns. My brother was right from the start, I want an independent girl who can take care of herself. I know you didn't tell her that you'd tried to lie to her. I brought that out. She went along with it because she is a follower, and the lord be with her too. And then you called me dramatic and shared that info with her of me sleeping with someone. That was before her anyway, and we (you and I) weren't together. 2 face. I see through you. And all the while trying to get me on the phone. Who's dramatic? Haha I got caught up! No more. It gets easier to see minute by minute. Sexual connection hinders objectivity, but stepping back now helps me see.

For the good, the cosmic connection, best of all, felt supernatural, the incredible sex, all the laughs and lightness. You've affected me more than any other woman. And good times were good, but far less than anything it should've been, and for what. For what you wanted me to be? I think not. It was so good it even made you forget who you are! But that's how you are. Nothing is your fault. Do you actually understand this? I think that's why you say you loved me so much. And you said it early on, 2 months in. If it were actually true (for both of us), 1) I'd actually trust my own fucking judgment 2) we'd already be married and probably have a child, 3) you wouldn't feel the desire to fix me, and 4) the family life would be self evident. If I'm to respect myself to trust my own judgment, not for another minute will I skeptically try intuiting this connection of ours. You were a lover confidant whom I let go. We were not right for each other, "babe."  As were your very last words to me in the group chat, "good luck in your solidarity." I extend that to you as well. I mean it but I doubt you'll change by the next relationship because you've been that way your whole life!

Sometimes thoughts 33

Sunday, November 4, 2018


Singleness, sobreity, vision work.

Greenville SC Walmart parking lot while on tour.

Sometimes thoughts 32

Sunday, October 28, 2018


You share sometimes you learn, you give sometimes you earn, when in the end it all is time, may it be spent likewise in kind.

Sometimes thoughts 31

Friday, October 26, 2018


Ego-less self promotion, evidenced ethic, execution strategy. Teamwork practice. Intelligent planning, risk/reward ratio, proactive cognitive development. The hare may be the fastest, but the tortoise wins the race.

Sometimes thoughts 30

Saturday, October 13, 2018


Social Observations - Flash mob the police, redirecting mobilization efforts of our physical and mental liberty. An example is a river fence, where signs say 'don't go in the water,' rather than straight to the water. We can achieve using river analogies. Also, chip 'readerless' cards, still executing economic function, essentially fraud, committed daily, en masse. Excess is a designated giveaway. How difficult is it for a young man to earn 10k, in all practical motivations on raising and providing for future generations, we must ally with the people.

Ben Franklin said "there are three types of people in the world: those who are immovable, those that are moved, and those who move."

Sometimes thoughts 29

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Friday, August 3, 2018

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Saturday, July 21, 2018


Who are you trying to impress, with apples and oranges, yourself, I think best.

We all are here, thoughtful pleased, forward progressed, not easily impressed.

For when down to pass, presently flat, with consciousness, on with step.

If while onward, one is impressed, walk on two - forward, step by step.

Death we fear not, what may come, of our life, when we are not,

Staying course, pacing space, a fulltime life, affected race

When in conclusion, one must say, what of his fate, did he imply

By his impression, one of affection, remembered fondly, often spry.

Nonetheless, he moves on, distance traveled, all time gone,

Lonely, timely, thoughtfully wisely, the present gone; almost kindly, he lives on.

Sometimes thoughts 25

Monday, July 2, 2018


You ever feel like you're gonna die but then you don't cause you're alive?

Sometimes thoughts 23

Wednesday, May 30, 2018


You love to hate?
I hate to love.
You hate to love to hate?
I love to hate to love.
You love to hate to love to hate?
I hate to love to hate to love.

Sometimes thoughts 22

Sunday, May 27, 2018


Facts presently -

30, broken up with gf, Nana discontinues chemo, Larry's dead, Logan's moved to Chi, Kenny and Callies mom and dad respectively have stage 4 and a few months left, 90 days sobriety, highest paid and most rewarding and challenging work of my career, new laptop and DAW work soon, shifts in attitude and outlook, reading more, life is good. 

sometimes thoughts 21

Thursday, April 26, 2018


Eudaimonia - the good life.

1. Wisdom and knowledge: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective, innovation.              

2. Courage: bravery, persistence, integrity,  vitality, zest.                                                  

3. Humanity: love, kindness, social intelligence.                                                  

4. Justice: citizenship, fairness, leadership.                                    

5. Temperance: forgiveness and mercy,  humility, prudence, self control.                 

6. Transcendence: appreciation of beauty, excellence, gratitude, hope,  humor, spirituality.

Sometimes thoughts 20

Source - Wikipedia

Wednesday, April 11, 2018


Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components. Non-love does not include any of these components. Liking only includes intimacy. Infatuated love only includes passion. Empty love only includes commitment. Romantic love includes both intimacy and passion. Companionate love includes intimacy and commitment. Fatuous love includes passion and commitment. Lastly, consummate love includes all three. American psychologist Zick Rubin sought to define love by psychometrics in the 1970s. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy.

sometimes thoughts 19

Source - Wikipedia