James 2:19!
Always seek, even when you know you are falling.
I sin when I get caught up in the famous Hume question when wrestling with God, but His faithfulness is forever. And as this post has been updated over the past month, the scripture in the title is as close as I can get to this topic so far. Being sinful, I don't believe I can escape sinful ponderings while God works on me. I am thankful for everything, and I still seek.
As far as I can tell so far, it will be like in Daniel with Hananiah (God is gracious), Mishael (who is what God is), and Azariah (God has helped). Stand and choose God; True bravery and courage, whatever the outcome.
God gives us breath to breathe the fire of his love. Forgive me though Lord, I am sinful.
I thought the other day, "I choose God."
Then I thought, how do you deal with this:
Love thy enemies.
Love Satan.
Never.
Easy to claim when your faith is untested.
In a sense, Satan was the most naive.
Even Pharoah's magicians snakes were swallowed up by Aaron's. God is a jealous God.
The elect must vigilantly watch as commanded by the lamb.
God have mercy, as mens hearts fail even (if it were possible) the elect, when given life giving breath to the wonderment of man, yet not being the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Christ asks, will faith be found on the earth?
His word is holy.
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
If we're blind, do we really listen better?
Is man's heart truly inclined for evil like God says (our Father who draws us), is it truly mysterious to us, and can we truly want what is good for us?
"All your heart, soul, and strength," is a commandment, after all.
How are volition and faith connected?
Our Lord says, the wages of sin is death.
What a terrible thing it is in the eyes of God.
I am only a man, I want to understand something as deeply as I am able. In the end, though I fall repeatedly short, in my faith, I choose and love God. Trust in the Lord.
Luke 9: 57-62 throw me too as those fellows seemed earnest and intent.
Spurgeon said, 'As numerous as your wanderings, so numerous your restorations will be.'
What an adventure we are on together.
Hume framed it (the conundrum of evil and suffering) this way:
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able: then is He impotent?
Is He able, but not willing: then is He malevolent?
Is He both willing and able: whence then this evil?
Being subject to sinful confusing thoughts arising on the differences between love and wrath, I find this question fascinating,
but...
As I learn over and over again, it is we who are evil and guilty of evil. See my wrestling below that some may feel similarly and come to the gospel like I did in this instance:
Deceptive musings and the false lights of mortal consciousness, existing in this numbered in-between.
even the sons of light will suffer unto eternity (after forever, or, the end of the age)
have you ever encountered an angel? how would you know? can you even distinguish between true light without feeling like you are falling dead? they wouldn't even have to impress you, and even if the messenger is benevolent, how do you make sense of your sight if you don't even know the truth of things? and even if you fall 'dead,' you're still alive, but are you really living? can you comprehend true life or even the sight of your eyes? neither eye has seen, nor ear has heard... the horror! think of the benevolent being busting Paul from prison in front of the sleeping Roman guards. Guards never sleep.
I got a coffee and drove toward the masonic lodge downtown.
Severed vines in bundled Christmas lights framed the handicapped entrance which couldn't more fittingly undue in a single instant in simple darkness and sin a lifetime of inbuilt curiosity with its deceptive, morbid symbology, based in the simple inverted belief that light is dark and dark is light. Here: and knowledge of the fact spoken by the Lord of the wages of sin being death, sin crouching at your doorstep, earthly timing and knowledge may be found, but why gain the world, when you can lose.., what is it, again? I just want to know how to combat it with the armor we're called to use. We excuse the highest standard and fall short in this life in simple thoughts. This is a truth of mine I will share, and the nexus of mortal daily struggle (I believe), and even simple moral failures erupt deep and atrocious anger from the soul depths, especially if you've knowledge of occult, because we are truly like this, so may our thoughts always align of righteous sound mind and be not deceived with false vines. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is.., what is it, again?
With inadvertent worship of the great deceiver and original order of the snake, bearing arms of scriptural muscle memory wrests away (the only defense, emphasis on sword of the Word) habits of veiled 'evil' leitmotifs, timings, contrasting masculine/feminine lingual associations with light/dark, positivism, thus bringing opposite desired effect of the craft, with its saturnine devouring generative futility, ultimately reinforcing faith in Christ's redemptive plan for a new heaven and a new earth, His inability to lie, and finding it's simple opposite amidst our failings, and understanding that His love is even deeper. This is key. The father of lies can only supplant himself (ye shall be like god, knowing good and evil), as only God creates, and even the snakes followers must necessarily blindly believe in God, at base being at odds with veritable truth. Weeds or wheat before the furnace.
This is the chthonic, within and without, in the material; this bundled vine symbolism parasitically infects my hearts discernment between good and evil. I am only a man, and I try to look closely at these spiritual things, I am sure of it. In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king. Few bother to explore it's seemingly innocent symbology, essentially admitting, 'how wonderful it would be to be "wrong,"' because we can't be truly wise unless given wisdom (& only Adam was told explicitly about the tree; who knows what God told Satan and the angels about the Garden?); God is indeed gracious, for the snake receives his divided kingdom after all, and for acting hellish, receives a hellish reward made manifest with infinite abound, insofar as we can imagine a true absence of the divine, as most can hardly comprehend walking even a dark path at nightfall. God also made me to walk along cliff-sides, I have always had this daring in my heart. This materially would represent what we call morbid curiosity, however: the great pit is rumbling for the king of Babylons arrival, and even our imaginations shudder its preeminent truth, for we glimpse it beforehand in our very human hearts upon the coming of the day of judgment, despite knowing the time (for anything, for that matter), and a scriptural recognition of the great Flood preceding. This has to be knowledge of the gospel within us, may everyone hear it and please Father draw everybody by faith. I simply cannot understand your absence nor your glory, nor why you would draw or not draw (not everyone who calls me Lord Lord...; didn't we cast out demons in your name...), therefore who can know anything at all. These are struggles for men.
Great are the ties governing the binding of Orion, and even greater still is the mind of God, and so frustratingly unimaginable (like chasing the wind), but this seeking desire to know remains. I have wondered if it's this very reason (imagination of the divine, as well as its absence), seemingly placed within us, alone which inclines the will toward the divine via faith, as Jesus says: behold, the kingdom of God is within you. Is this the true meaning? Who can know righteousness by faith unless God draws them. And who truly understands mercy in this age? Jacob, you worm! If that deceiver who I've always disliked is 'chosen,' is it any wonder I feel hourly (and minutely!) the ecclesiastical philosophers hopelessness and meaninglessness also? And even he was a king. The classic will vs. predestination struggle, for what does anything matter...God the sovereign so chooses.
Though I have faced darkness openly, fallen, sought and received redemption (unassuredly at times), may I serve as a lightning rod against the rages of subjugation to self-annihilation, much like the rallying cries of musicians of old leading the front lines of battle in order that men should follow toward the will of the One in whose image He made us all, and this scriptural fact makes me wonder the legitimacy of my salvation in the first place. Is it any wonder knowing our own hearts, let alone the hearts of others? Who can speak for the hearts of those ancient Israelites and their struggles while marching and screaming toward certain death and their faith (however strong or flickering) that all would turn out fine, even in death. The mortal struggle of the faithful. The sun shines on both the good and the wicked! Moreover, the chants of the Lords love being eternal by these musicians of old were a catalyst to the awesome works of Truth after the fact (God alone defeated the entire army), reverberating in the souls of these mighty God seeking men. Beware the much babbling, for how to glorify God with words; may they be simple.
I want to hear the voices of the angels. I want to hear the very voice of God, and any action, however little, be fruitfully informed. Nothing is outside of the Sovereign, proven again and again. History, both actual and written, is itself subject therewith.
Going back to the old argument, could Judas Iscariot escape his "fate?" It was written, woe to him, that he never have been born, so, the easy answer is no. Therefore, how to reconcile truly making your own choices while being born eternally lost from a sovereign! Woe to the 12th man born cursed under Scripture but in the mortal mind of man it appears fatalistic. Do you think the apostles (Peter, the denier for example) even considered their very own beings when wondering who the devil was when it was alluded to among them? And if you invert it, did Judas know he was a devil or think that he was indeed chosen? Especially given his own surprise after he admitted he'd betrayed innocent blood. The man suffered a fate like Achan, and his family. It assures us of our own blindness. Slave or anointed, which is it, or am I oversimplifying? Are you better than Judas? You may have not been named like he was but it is true multitudes will be sent to Hell, no? Jonah willed himself into the sea, and though I am not an elect, it too would seem I'm rushing to annihilation and not seeking it's opposite (if I'm being honest); history doesn't support the best wishes of men. Stare into the abyss as you're rushing headlong into death in this life; how else can we understand what is happening to our mortal souls, when you are born thrust into this. Just as we do not know free will, we know not true life. We are utterly dependent on Jesus for that, even our very breath. Sure he is the smart and kind friend, but his righteous justice (which feels like rage) is not only real, it's not of this universe, and the wrath of the Father. This is why I often fear God more than love him, because I don't truly know what either means, or "knowing" faith, as it were. And unless it is revealed to me, God's glory that is, am I going to hell? Assuredness is a struggle. If you are meek, submissive about the state of your own soul, because it is up to God, and you inherit the earth, how can you be sure you are in heaven, and not just the earth, like Matthew 5 says. Many will come to Him confident in their salvation, after all. Are you blessed or cursed? Do we even know the difference, given our state? Ask Jacob, or any of his murderous sons. Either way us gentiles will find out, I guess. Sins are forgiven, but one: blaspheming against the Spirit. Do we truly know what that means? God must open our eyes. God "intervenes," at his own will. Woe to you who call good evil and evil, good! By faith of the kingdom within us, we "know," the difference.
wHaT DoEs iT mEaN To " K n o W ... " {×_×}
We are to follow Scripture, so why would God make man for the purpose of destroying their heart and souls forever? Only God has free will. Will a man truly destroy himself on purpose if he "knew" better? If we're all made with morality (the kingdom) within us, where does this sin come from? How can God do this? We can say he will freely not permit all into heaven. Does he love the people he sends to eternal damnation? He must. Great is thy faithfulness. Damn.
How do you mathematically reconcile scriptural predestination (if it is indeed 'predestination,' if it can even be understood) with the wills of men (if those can be understood either!)? I fear I'll spend my life trying to figure out these questions and suffer the process at my own peril somehow when I never intentioned to (like the choked plants on the sowers path). Am I any better than these biblical men? Any of them. Are we born fools? All of us are foolish in the eyes of God. What do you make of the faith of a fool? People are certain, "there's no way I'm deceived: God chose me, I have faith." Yes, God chose Judas, and Peter freely(?) denied Christ, even after he was warned about it. What choice Adam (and Satan) had may get closer to the heart of it than all the rest - having been warned directly (at least we know Adam was, since Satan does not receive forgiveness). Does Satan want to return to God somehow? It would seem no since Jesus called him the father of lies, as he would really have to believe it. And if he wants to be like God, he must know that he believes a lie, or he lies to himself in order to believe that lie.
So, man likely warned woman, man loves and listens to woman (she wasn't told explicitly by God not to eat the fruit), so man has greater responsibility in a sense. The son of Man chose the 12th man, Judas. It is almost too much to bear (re: faith) thinking about how you must repent as best you can and leave it up to God for judgment and hope you know Jesus well enough that he will appeal you to the father and bring you through the Shepard's gate (with the thought of the lessons of the figs). I believe Jesus will save from the fire, I really do, but it's probably just evidence of my sinful nature on this earth that I would doubt and question and seek incessantly things on this topic, but also reassuring that I know I just do not deserve mercy in the eyes of the Almighty. Make my heart for you God, reshape and mold it strongly, because you can do anything! It makes me want to throw my heart in the trash, and have it replaced in this confusing and sinful world, and give my "will" (whatever/however that may mean), up to the Almighty sovereign as best I can with all my heart, soul, and strength, which is your command. Self deceit is the ultimate enemy, so the irony is in knowing the enemy. Study the temptation. 40 days of flood, 40 days of desert, the presence of water in the creation via the Spirit. This is a battle for your very soul. Jacob might have held on at Peniel and not let go until being blessed, but that says nothing about why he willed it. What did that deceitful man have in his heart? Forgive me, because I don't like him at all. Suppose Judas said, "I will not leave this table until you bless me Lord!" Ye of little faith! Ye are no different than Judas or Jacob. How many times has that been said. What if you know you've been cursed, what then? Maybe Jacob demanded a blessing as to not be cursed. So much for saving one's life (and not losing it for the sovereign Lord's sake). I'd sacrifice my life as he gave me it anyway, doesn't matter whether or not I'm chosen. Gnashing is the preview of Gods judgment, and if not drawn, will toward the body of Christ anyway. That's literally all we have control over. Or do we? Seek the narrow path anyway.
Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil, being commanded by God himself to love our enemies that they may burn with shame unto repentance, appreciating more the 4th, 6th and the 8th days, and to be tested as silver in the flames for the final day when the brilliance of the Living one causes every knee to bow. Mortal man, there is still time, and even in imagining, we seek. As my grandmother said to some, it is never too late. I am glad for the experiences given to me.
Crucify the sins of the flesh. One lays down his life for his brother: this being love's definition, & knowledge given (freely!) from the greatest of teachers, compels us, who accepts absolutely no false gods, let alone the vain self. It is truly dangerous for our souls and may we stay vigilant (being One body). In hindsight, while having brushed close in relation to baphomet and his minions and experienced their grooming of my own vessel with their crafts, God help me(!), I believe God looks out for me among false vines because indeed he makes kings heads turn (King of kings, as we're called, not king of slaves, slaves of righteousness) without effort at the slightest direction, guiding their actions, and loving the Lord in my depths (the greatest commandment), desire to follow Him because I hate how evil I am aware of and capable of being, and perhaps for this very reason, draw others unto Himself. But I am also grateful for this knowledge. Think of two repelling magnets. I will face the guillotine in this divided world gladly for the blood shed for me, even if I can't see Him, and may He give me the strength to pray for my enemies and to always mean it should my head even roll away. He's whose flesh I eat after all. I mercifully confess the evil in my heart. I struggle, as we all do, especially in the blood, and will share the hellfire of vanity and confusion in these evil thoughts and weak moments below. I am real after all, and should any read this, may they find relation and use for it: to always seek. I write for reinforcement also.
play the parables on repeat...
"I am good and evil. split. i am different than god, only in image, made able for choosing both. rage is bitter and strong. can god choose evil; can evil exist in gods creation? did god create evil to be made. by proxy? that's how humans do it. nothing is outside of god? false teachers always have an answer. god made a place from before, with a raging ocean of formless desolation, and Spirit roaming over the waters. was that place evil? that was in the beginning, the same with water (agency). no light exists there from before. let us make beings then and send them there and guard their eternal division from the tree of life, let's give them complete eternal suffering and justice for the way that they just ARE! praise god for the dust and the worms. praise him, praise him. and satan wants to be like him. satan is nothing like god, and god made him. i am as a tired shameless, evil, mad man."
NIGHT
"What a rage of destruction. A rage of evil and ignorance. Original sin, what is divine rage? who can know, seething anger based in confusion. Purge it. of course evil isn't righteous, who can imagine TRUE RIGHTEOUS ANGER being not God. Desire is near the roots of these sensations. Sensations are all that they are and should be. These words contain no rage of confusion. Dear Word, I were made without understanding of words. what good are cuss words when your soul is pure evil. have you come to torment us before the time? are they to be like gods? who has sympathy for the devil? for he was made by an all loving being. He must have been loving before his fall."
the rampant nonsense.
paralysis by analysis, I've heard said.
I would love to understand better these topics on soul, and divine, if they can be understood, by math, logic and formula, at least organizationally.
More emotional nonsense.
"Sin is evidence of Gods love.
Pleasure in darkness proves the existence of God.
God loves sinful people, he sends them to hell. Who can choose to go to hell when ignorant of the truth.
unless you're drawn, what is truth? I made their eyes not to see, and to hear, but not understand. did god make people unwilling? how can that NOT be true. calvanists, unite!
God made me, who can know simple parables while not knowing anything.
Some people will not understand after all, what the hell does that mean!?
Since I don't know anything, God exists.
God invented ignorance.
He made me. He didn't make my choices.
He knows I make my choices.
Hell is a choice.
Heaven is a choice.
Hell is not a choice.
Heaven is not a choice.
faith is hope in ignorance.
faith is not knowing.
your eyes know nothing.
you know nothing.
you know not faith.
the absence of god is nothing.
God created life to send to hell.
in hell is nothing.
you will (not) feel nothing though. crying and gnashing.
was it even life to begin with. a glimpse, a glimmer.
Regret.
He made Satan to send to Hell, because he knew even before he made him.
Nothing matters because God is love.
You have no love without God.
God loves you.
God loves you not.
God loves you, burn in eternity.
while you burn in ignorance.
veiled on earth, realized in death
the great unknown, all is unseen.
God gives you sight.
God gives you blindness.
You are born blind.
God suffers, he made death. A second death, even.
God suffers, he made me. God cannot suffer truth. God cannot suffer lies. suffer the cross...
god cannot. god can.
Why is God.
God loves Sin, Satan loves truth. Both are false and true.
Hell is included in all things.
God made it all. all things.
what is it really for jesus to suffer and defeat death, having created both. how can he suffer like us. being god and being not god. this hypostasis!
I love my life, so let a mountain fall on top of me. but it won't come! we cannot move mountains with faith.
Crucify the flesh, kill yourself, live forever. Care for flesh, the big ignorant happy bliss; forever too late you had your chance, you are born dead. You cannot follow the laws if you wanted to, fornicator. you do not get a pass. god can pass on you. too bad, too late! psychobabble.
Think about God, hide the truth, post your shame in public. do the opposite.
WOW, what a hypocrite. fuck everyone, hypocrites. nobody cares for anybody else. we love hearing lies. look at the world.
I will kill you, but God killed me first, he made me. God out here killin. He killed himself.
He can only go wherever he may go. ye be not like god(s)
your life is not your own
in hell it will be, though"
"Did not God drop some of the seeds on the barren path, the rocks, and not the soil.
You are awfully confident that you are indeed on the soil."
How can you judge your own fruits.
You cannot.
check yourself, before you wreck yourself.
"A man cannot judge his own fruits. He has proven bad judgment, even the saved. God is judge.
Human arrogance is a sure killer."
I drive myself mad with mortal thoughts on the divine. it is evident, we simply cannot know. I offend God and it is a common error with which I ask forgiveness.
Jesus is too marvelous for me in my mortality to comprehend. Praise be to God. I just want answers.
I do not take murderous action against the flesh, the devils advocate is in fact an advocate, so most opt for vanity instead, and it usually only takes once for a prodigal realization and dishonor (boasting), and having broken all the commandments in some ungodly way or another anyway, I am a suffering coward and will crouch in shame and horror facing the almighty. cryer or gnasher? why not both? does that mean I have enough faith to live, or not even a mustard seed. you cannot grow seeds on your own.
The lessons of the 3 temptations: God's every word is life, do not test the Lord (Lord forgive this post), worship God and only Him.
Remember Eph 2:8 when in confusion
Put your trust in the LORD
here is scripture:
Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and
its fruit bad; for the tree is recognized and judged by its fruit.
many before the flood were growing true fruits with all their might as best they could, will they rise to life on the last day? no? how can you know. love your enemy then, and judge no one. you know nothing and Gods actions are his own. I have already broken his commands (the masses didn't know Jesus when living on earth before the flood), and I may have faith in the One body, but Gods actions on his creations, are His. we are him by the fruit of Jesus, but you simply cannot say what God will do. Prove me wrong scripturally. yes he is faithful; maybe he will do something, maybe he won't; I don't speak for God, he speaks for himself.
shine your light. it's not your light. questioning if you have a flashlight is not simple: you may know or not know you have it in the other room, it may not have batteries that work, or not at all (cares of the world). Shine on. the blind beg like dogs, wishing to be healed. Keep it near.
So,
even the demons fear God's judgment.
Am i not real. evil groups, legion. can satan drive out satan. no. Beware the principalities of the air, but always remember Who is God. Place your nose in the Word. Repent and ask forgiveness. "I desire mercy and not sacrifice." Dead works, God's mercy. In God's mercy there are no dead works.
are we not born with original sin?
is there not moral suffering? natural suffering?
why is God? why am I? why?
Don't bother with these, memorize scripture instead for life and sustenance. Repentance is truly difficult, especially with the 3rd and 8th commandments (as witnessed). I am not practicing righteousness, for I am not righteous but through Christ, but may others relate and come to the Word through this public forum in some way. It is a common prayer in men to write their thoughts too, having had conversations with them and with God on this subject and commandment.
...
Do not fall for the false vine, words cannot express, even in all their nonsense, don't let it go too far, but peer in the darkness to understand the light: only someone where no one else can go can pull you from it's mess. We are commanded to shine light in the darkness. Have faith and know. He made me strong and adventurous, and I will travel far in mind and body to cure confusion in my soul. He is merciful. I will end with this:
May God grant us ears to hear and a heart to obey His Word.
The Word is my only strength. Luke 10:19
1 John 5
Ye were unwilling, I've heard the scriptures quoted. may it not be so! other believers profess my own seeking nature is evidence of faith.
do you trust your own heart? seek the source.
since god gives wealth, he'll be responsible for your heart having gained riches then. He gives everything.
sometimes purge and think things through to their foolish conclusions 75
don't stop.
zerfliesse, mein herze
My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight,
preserve sound judgment and discretion;
they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble.
When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
for the Lord will be at your side
and will keep your foot from being snared.
you will never find the mind of god. it appears we face annihilation in any direction. it's too incomprehensible.
May the music of his mercy abound in my soul, He sends me in the wilderness and brings me back.
In the months that I've been composing this post, the Lord convicts me with a single verse from his Word (Luke 9:62)
"Anyone who starts to plow and then keeps looking back is of no use for the Kingdom of God."
Is 55:3, Lu 12:49, Dan 3:17-18(25), Ps 5:5-8, A 4:12, Mk 13:21-23
